What it means to be a man

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When we think of the alpha male, “The Man” so to speak, images flood our mind of what’s portrayed constantly. That gun-toting, cigar smoking, womanizer in a t-shirt a few sizes smaller than necessary. The music industry paints a picture that a man’s worth is measured by the number of women he’s slept with. Like hunting trophies mounted on his wall. You’d be forgiven for thinking this way. These are the images etched into our subconscious almost every minute of every day.

Read: 4 Marks of a Godly Man

So, what makes a man? What defines us? The answer may surprise you. A real man doesn’t always have a chiseled physique or ambitious mindset. Sometimes a real man has a belly or he’s rocking the latest fashion from five years ago. You see, the hallmark of a real man is sacrifice. He may love to be dressed up and probably was quite the head-turner in his day. However, the needs of “His people”, his loved ones supersede his own desires. The reason why the Bible places the man as the head of the home is not out of male superiority but his innate desire to make personal sacrifices for his loved ones. He is supposed to have the vision of a better life for his family and then make the sacrifices to get them there. You know, we love Ephesians 5:22-33:

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Here’s why the Bible says that your wife must submit to you. We tend to miss it because we get so excited over the submission part. Your relationship with your wife is likened to the relationship between Christ and the Church. What did Jesus do? Didn’t he make the ultimate sacrifice for our sake? Frankly, a faithful wife shouldn’t even need a scripture to tell her to submit because she must have no doubt in her mind that you will do anything for her and your children. You will sacrifice it all for them. Yes, you will make mistakes but she must never doubt your intentions or that you’ll do everything in your power to correct that error in your judgment. You need to make sure that you’re worthy of her trust.

Lost in time…

Well, that’s how we’re supposed to behave. Somewhere down the line, we missed it. Men understood their role at some point in history. We get hints of this understanding in unspoken rules of manhood, like “women and children first.” Surely you remember Titanic? No? You’re either too young to remember being dragged to watch Leonardo DiCaprio or you’re in denial. And before I start, can we all agree that the door was big enough for both of them! That poor fellow died in vain!


Gentlemen, let me propose a hypothetical scenario to you. You and your family are on the sinking Titanic. You know, the cruise you booked without travel insurance because they claimed it was unsinkable. So the ship hits an iceberg and is taking in water. All the women and children get onto the lifeboats, except your woman! She turns to you, look you in the eyes and says, “Honey, you go with the kids. I’ll stay behind.” The silence is deafening. You can almost hear the thoughts of the other men. You can taste the disdain that they have for you.

I’d bet my bottom dollar that you’d bind her hands and feet. Carry her to the lifeboat. Row that damn raft as far as possible. Dive into the frigid waters of the Atlantic and swim back to the Titanic, so you can die with some dignity. Am I wrong?

Ego Trip

As funny as this scenario may be, I want to highlight another aspect of our nature. God in His infinite wisdom set a countermeasure in place. A fail safe if you will… it’s called a man’s ego. If a man does not have the moral fiber or integrity to do what’s best for his family, then his ego will force him to do it. Our ego is always viewed negatively but it’s there to ensure that men hold each other accountable. We are the checks and balances for what’s acceptable behavior. And if a male behaves in a manner not befitting a man, he should be treated as less than a man until he gets his act together.

A man’s ego is a powerful thing. It’s like a bank account. A man’s self-worth is based not on his actual bank account but his ego. And its currency is respect. Respect is earned and can be taken away. You can’t horde respect. Take it away and a man has nothing. As men, it’s our duty to ensure that we hold each other accountable. We are to maintain a standard amongst our fold, a Godly standard. What say ye?

If you like this article, share it. If you know someone that’s a husband, father or friend… A good man, deserving of recognition and fits the profile then tag him. He’ll appreciate it. Gentlemen… Yea or Nay? Let me know your thoughts.

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