The truth about adultery

Whether you live in the U.S or Timbuktu, all human beings have a special affinity for marriage. Yes, in recent years, marriage has been the butt of jokes highlighting it as the hallmark of misery. Yet, people continue to flock to the altar. You see, marriage is the embodiment of faithfulness.

Irrespective of your religious beliefs, you can sit at a wedding in any culture and the idea that two human beings can make a lifelong commitment to each other is irresistible. You see, we’re all flawed, we’re all damaged and to have someone look past all of it and say, “You and me babe… I’m with you to the end.” That is something we all long for.

One silver bullet for every excuse

So what went wrong? Why is adultery so common? Let’s not bother with justifying adultery. Let me kill every excuse with one bullet. If you were really as bad as your cheating spouse claims, if living with you was truly so unbearable, they would have walked out of that house because it would have been better to be alone than to be with you. There is no excuse for adultery and don’t you ever blame yourself for your spouse’s selfishness.

That being said, let’s delve deeper into that initial leap of faith we so lovingly call, the wedding day. Bit of an odd process really, we invite witnesses that stand before us and we take a vow before God. You publicly declare to the Creator of absolutely everything that no matter what happens in life, you will take care of the person standing beside you. After a long day of what in essence is running a gauntlet, it may be a gauntlet adorned with flowers and a red carpet but it’s a gauntlet nonetheless. You then have to consummate the marriage. What a weird day.

Taboo = Lack of knowledge

Now I’m about to get real with you people because we are too embarrassed to talk about it. It’s taboo and the alternative sources of information are unsavory at best. The world has reduced sex to the act of relieving yourself, akin to scratching an itch. We are making a mess of our lives because we lack knowledge.

Has it occurred to you that although fornication is against God’s Will and has its own set of consequences, yet specifically adultery is one of the items in the ten commandments? For the sake of staying on topic, let’s discuss adultery only.

When you consummate the marriage, you are making a covenant before God. Covenants are a big deal, so big that God made a covenant with Abraham, a mere mortal and God honored it. God doesn’t break covenants and you were made in His image. You find that in most cases blood is involved when a covenant is made.

Let’s take a step back and look at the original design in Genesis. God only created Eve, not Eve, Evelyn and Evette. It was always meant to be one man to one woman.

Without being too graphic, if sex is a covenant before God and blood are required in covenants, would it stand to reason that God would have designed our bodies so that when the covenant is made, a little blood is shed. Is there some part of the anatomy that seems to have no other purpose except the shedding of a little blood, one time only? Did the penny drop yet?


Here’s what you need to realize, breaking a covenant is a serious offense in God’s eyes. Always remember:

  • Never make a covenant if you don’t intend to honor it.
  • Never break one that has been made.

As a man, when you lay with a woman (note the ‘a’, not ‘e’), you are taking full responsibility for her. So you better be sure before you lay with her because this is not a game. There’s no hit it and quit it. You better have no doubt in your mind that she’s the one. You see, you’re not just taking financial responsibility alone… Honestly, most women these days are doing better financially than men anyhow. You are accepting absolute responsibility for her, mind, body and spirit. She may not need you financially but she may need you to spiritually support her, perhaps emotionally or physically. Whatever she needs, you’re it, buddy.

On the flip side ladies, is this the guy you want to enter into a covenant with? Is he responsible? Can you trust him?

Remember God is the architect of everything. He designed it and it’s a system. The original system is designed as one man to one woman. We have created chaos in the system by sleeping around.


There is judgment when a covenant is broken so don’t mess around. I have yet to hear of things ending well for someone that commits adultery. The first to go is your respect. We take faithfulness for granted. You never hear someone bragging about another person by saying how faithful they are. It’s expected of you and is tied heavily with how much people trust and respect you. The problem is that we have this false notion that our ability to remain faithful has no bearing on anything else. Think about it this way, if your own spouse and children couldn’t trust you, should anyone else? Please understand that I’m not bashing you, I’m telling you that if you’re on the brink of committing adultery, walk away because you’ll lose everything. Let’s be honest, if people don’t respect you, what else is there?  It’s simply not worth it. I’ll cover the path back to righteousness in another post.

When we don’t understand the purpose of something, we misuse it and it can destroy us. That is the reality of the situation when it comes to adultery. Once you do the deed outside the confines of marriage, it’s over. The covenant with your spouse has ended and you enter into a new covenant with that person.

Suddenly sleeping around isn’t so appealing. That is why infidelity is the only reason God would allow you to divorce your spouse. And this is also why, if you lay with someone that got divorced for any other reason, you have committed adultery with them in God’s eyes. It’s all about the covenant. It’s a huge deal and not to be taken lightly.

I hope I’ve shed light on this taboo topic. You can ask questions as I know this is a touchy topic.

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